BEFORE THE MOLD SETS
So, let’s talk about the great Sqirl debacle that’s going on…
On Sunday a ‘mathematician’ decided to go all in and basically kick a business while it’s down during a global pandemic by assisting a number of disgruntled former employees who claimed to work in unsafe conditions – scraping mold as deep as 11 inches in jam made at a secret kitchen for Sqirl.
First off: Shame on you LA Times, Eater LA, Matthew Kang and Farley Elliott. Ya’ll knew about this shit for over a year now…we all did. And the reason why I didn’t post a syllable about it was the same reason why you didn’t either: the sources were sketchy as fuck!! None of you said a word about this till a self-described scientist with over five thousand followers on Instagram forced the will of your vanity to jump allegiance from Sqirl onto the wrecking ball speeding right into its direction – now, of course, because it’s apparently ripe for the attack.
Secondly: Every restaurant has a ghost or secondary kitchen. It’s a well-known secret, and many take advantage of certain guidelines that allow them to operate under the radar of the Health Department. You’re the same fools screaming the praises of Joshua Skenes, believing he has chickens hanging from his ceilings for five days at his Angler restaurants dry brining, and that Daniele Uditi really ferments his doughs at Pizzana for 48 hours – both following strict procedures that comply with LA County Health Codes – correct? Stop. Please and thank you.
And where are all the pics of this rat-infested shithole?
Working with jams, they can form what’s called, ‘healthy penicillin,’ over time and are consider consumable. However, that pic was trash, and only an idiot can’t see that. I don’t subscribe to good molds. When I was a Pastry Cook at Herringbone, it was my responsibility to make small batch preserves, a jam really, which I made weekly. I’m fairly certain Jessica Koslow, owner of Sqirl and Sqirl Away, would not run the risk of poisoning people if she didn’t know what she was doing and the science behind it; especially when her product is available at LA institutions like Joan’s On Third.
Lastly: I met Koslow briefly. What I know about her is that she is a fervent proponent of the LA food scene, more so pastry; intrinsically decent. It’s disappointing that people like Kang and Elliott went all Karen Smith and Grethen Wieners on her when knowing about this for some time and not ask her – even in passing, while getting a comp cup of coffee and toast with ricotta and jam – to get her side rather than rally-up with some bitchy IG blogger (who also is aimlessly attempting to connect Sqirl with disgraced food and dining brand Bon Appétit) and a group of former employees that apparently had no problem allegedly poisoning customers with moldy jam until they no longer had to work there. Forcing Koslow’s knee to bend and validate these miscreants at a time when her business, like all businesses at the moment, is vulnerable and can’t run the risk of facing closure over controversy. Which it has, temporarily. Brava, ladies!!
Perhaps Koslow runs a shit kitchen, but that’s because she, like many other celebrant Chefs with restaurants in LA, made the same mistake and hired shit staff.