GULOTTA OLIVE GARDEN
With almost a decade of exploiting Southeast Asian food culture, Michael Gulotta, owner of MOPHO and the financially faltering Maypop, draws from his own Italian heritage to open, TANA; a ‘new’ restaurant coming to Old Metairie in 2023.
Void of which curry to douse on another shape of pasta, Michael Gulotta finally opts for tomato sauce; as he plans to open a ‘new’ restaurant in the affluent hamlet of Old Metairie called Tana.
An Italian concept which proved it didn’t have legs in 2017, Tana operated as a popup out of Treo, a bar and gallery which closed its doors in 2019. The announcement for restaurant Tana made late last month, highlighted groundwork for a sprawling 5,000 sq ft residency akin to ‘better restaurants’ in Miami, Chicago or New York; so says Gulotta’s best bud and business partner, Jeffrey Bybee, via New Orleans Magazine.
A John Besh lackey for over seven years – working then for the now disgraced Chef at his restaurant August during its heyday – Gulotta left his ‘chef mentor’ in 2013 to open, MOPHO, a Mid-City eatery that mispronounces the very food it flogs in its own name, followed by Maypop in 2016. Located in the CBD in downtown NOLA, Maypop was initially set to be another MOPHO, however, lost its bid to a neighboring authentic Vietnamese pho restaurant and thus Ladyboy, sorry, Maypop was born. A collection of choices; from its late 1990s homage to dreary, steely-cold warehouse loft interior; a wall-mural of maypop flowers that look more like viruses painted by an artist whose last name is, ironically, Pew; a menu that includes ‘cheesy lumache’ as an entrée and brownie for dessert; the ‘upscale casual’ restaurant – which closed for more than a year during the pandemic – has been financially struggling since it reopened on April 22, 2021.
Show me a Vietnamese restaurant owned by a white guy without telling me it’s a Vietnamese restaurant owned by a white guy. Gulotta’s first restaurant, MOPHO, located at 514 City Avenue opened its doors on January 11, 2014.
‘Negotiations…to take Tana off life-support were well underway by August 26, 2021. Around the same time, Gulotta announced to his staff at Maypop the restaurant was nearing bankruptcy; therefore shift hours and people would be cut to keep the Southeast Asian inspired food spot open.’
Negotiations between Gulotta and Bybee (or, Gybee) and local restaurant investors, Gabe Corchiani and Christopher Keene, to take Tana off life-support were well underway by August 26, 2021. Around the same time, Gulotta announced to his staff at Maypop the restaurant was nearing bankruptcy; therefore shift hours and people would be cut to keep the Southeast Asian inspired food spot open. Maypop’s money woes continued following hurricane Ida, as addressed even further in an email from September 7, 2021 sent to all Maypop employees, including yours truly. In the missive, Gulotta wrote reopening the restaurant was unforeseeable; even giving the directive for everyone to file unemployment. By good fortune, clever math (albeit involving Gulotta’s estranged brother, Jeff), Maypop reopened at the end of September – following Gulotta’s return from vacation in Mexico.
‘Maypop functioned…for several months before nearing another financial hit in December 2021 when several staff tested positive for COVID…leaving Gulotta’s ass puckering in fear the restaurant will have to shut down till January when the company’s payroll rested on ringing in 2022.’
Open five days a week, dinner only, Maypop functioned at fits and starts for several months before nearing another financial hit in December 2021 when several staff tested positive for COVID; forcing Maypop to close on December 19th. One line cook contracted the virus four days before New Year’s Eve and a dishwasher on December 30th; leaving Gulotta’s ass puckering in fear the restaurant will have to shut down till January when the company’s payroll rested on ringing in 2022. To avoid health concerns and possible cancellations if COVID was mentioned, a well worded pile of half-baked illiterate jargon about ‘our family’ taking a mental health day, written by moi, was posted on Maypop’s IG account December 27, 2021. Happy New Year!!
But Maypop wasn’t out of the woods.
TEXT ON WHEELS – A series of messages from December 27th and December 30th 2021, addressing staff testing positive for COVID, several which lead to an IG post, written by me, claiming Maypop was taking a mental health day to avoid any cancellations from guests for New Year’s Eve. FUN FACT: My tagging Fair Kitchens – an elaborate ruse founded by Chefs responsible for the toxic culture in kitchens past, present and always, now exploiting issues of mental health and suicide to look woke, and which Gulotta is a figurehead – was me being ironic. However, it made Gulotta look good and he reworded my verbiage for a post he was featured in for Fair Kitchens’ IG account in January 2022.
‘It’s bewildering [investors] Corchiani and Keene would go all in on someone like Gulotta, who clearly can’t even count to 21 naked much less run a profitable restaurant. ... MOPHO’s success rests squarely on the shoulders of its Executive Chef, Paul Chell, who’s been running the place for nearly five years. In fact, it’s MOPHO that picks up Maypop’s financial slack more often than not when in a bind.’
No longer on its knees financially, Maypop was on all fours getting spit roasted by debts past and present. With January being the slowest month for many restaurants, and an incompetent General Manager who made doing the bare minimum of half-assing his job look arduous, Maypop had not one buyout at the beginning of 2022. Gulotta had to outsource his former AGM, who left in December to pursue her own business ventures, as Maypop’s catering coordinator; using leads she established before splitting – which Gulotta’s GM failed to follow up on, and, therefore, costing the restaurant more money to employ someone else to do his job. Maypop’s asking price for buyouts were at an upwards of $15,000 - $30,000; yet, Gulotta was still gasping Maypop monetarily ‘dying’.
With no capital coming from Gybee and a small percentage of stake in ownership given between the two, over 2 million dollars plans to be spent by Corchiani and Keene to build out Tana, which will be located in an upcoming state-of-the-art shopping center at 2929 Metairie Road in Old Metairie. It’s bewildering Corchiani and Keene would go all in on someone like Gulotta, who clearly can’t even count to 21 naked much less run a profitable restaurant. Breathtaking even. MOPHO’s success rests squarely on the shoulders of its Executive Chef, Paul Chell, who’s been running the place for nearly five years. In fact, it’s MOPHO that picks up Maypop’s financial slack more often than not when in a bind.
(Ed. Note: Gybee are also receiving $6,000.00 each monthly [in addition to the $9,000.00/mo Gulotta takes out for himself from MOPHO Group, LLC] while building is underway for Tana.)
‘Given the structure of the deal…if Tana doesn’t see high earnings within its first quarter, in no time will octopus boudin give way to all you can eat bread sticks and never-ending pasta bowls. And knowing Gulotta bends to pressure of mediocrity…a Gulotta Olive Garden is inevitable.’
I worked with Gulotta at Maypop for nearly ten months when the restaurant reopened last year. From my experience, Gulotta has no business acumen. What’s more, he’s mentally detached from reality, emotionally stunted and intellectually weightless. Michael Gulotta is a fame chaser. A gimmick. He’d rather be attending the opening of an envelope hosted by the likes of Oscar Mayer than spend another second in either one of his restaurants; much less open a ‘new’ one. Gulotta remains bleary-eyed by visions of stardom dancing in his nimble mind and is sadly attempting to parlay his last lingering thread of minor celebrity – which peaked in 2020 following his James Beard nom for Best Chef South that same year – with wanton abandon. He should channel his desirous designs auditioning for ‘Guy’s Grocery Games’, not sink himself further into debt with another restaurant; especially one where he has no say nor power and has already proved it will fail. Gulotta claiming Tana is the restaurant he always wanted to open reads no different from the prolix he delivers for Fair Kitchens; and is just as hollow…when not inspired. Given the structure of the deal between Gybee and Corchiani, Keene; Tana sounds less about creativity and more about profit. Translation: if Tana doesn’t see high earnings within its first quarter, in no time will octopus boudin give way to all you can eat bread sticks and never-ending pasta bowls. And knowing Gulotta bends to pressure of mediocrity for vanity’s sake, a Gulotta Olive Garden is inevitable.
Tana is slated to open in early 2023.
(Ed. Note: Despite having an established relationship with the company for more than three years, Scott MacFetters, former General Manager of Maypop, was fired in March 2022. Not because MacFetters didn’t bring one buyout for the month of January as mentioned in this rant, not because MacFetters did the bare minimum of half-assing his job, and most certainly not because MacFetters was responsible for 96% of Maypop’s negative reviews – Christ, MacFetters even has negative reviews on Indeed from 2019 and Gulotta did nothing about it. And besides, Gulotta had all of Maypop’s shutdown if he truly wanted to terminate MacFetters for his incompetence as a GM. Scott MacFetters was fired because Michael Gulotta – given the fame chaser he is – clings onto anybody, like a parasite, with any connection or inkling to celebrity. MacFetters is married to the nephew of Willie Garson; the late actor who played Stanford Blatch on ‘Sex and the City.’ Late actor being the operative words; therefore, without that celebrity connection, MacFetters was rendered utterly useless to Gulotta. And just like that…MacFetters was fired.)
FULL DISCLOSURE: As revealed, I worked with Michael Gulotta at his restaurant, Maypop, for nearly 10 months; where I was mentally, emotionally and verbally abused by Gulotta and his staff – especially Scott MacFetters. Highlights include: Gulotta mocking me because I’m Gay, laughing at my expense and when he learned I was held up at gunpoint leaving his restaurant after service one night, he did not have the decency to ask if I was okay. #FairKitchens. I even alluded to Gulotta’s homophobia towards me numerous times on Instagram and on Twitter. I worked 968 hours straight from April 22nd through June 28th, from seven in the morning till close without a day off. #FairKitchens. Despite giving notice on November 12, 2021, Gulotta gaslighted me out of it – and, like an idiot, I stayed. I finally walked out of that septic tank of toxin on January 30th, and have since been living in Gulotta’s head rent free. Gulotta had been blackballing me from finding work through the allegiance of his Gulotta groupies. #FairKitchens. Special thanks to Sophina Uong for pulling the trigger.